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Latest Stories

December 09, 2018
Mystery Stories Wally Smith

Body of Evidence

Crime Scene Tours Ltd. had built their business, some would say, on the basis of appealing to people’s morbid curiosity for grisly acts of murder, and Liz and Colin Stevenson therefore had no qualms at all about conducting tours around the scenes of the most…
December 02, 2018
General Stories John L. Yelavich

Aesthetic Shock

Allie is delicate and gentle, waif-like in her presence. Her luminescent smile frames an image that seems so lighthearted. A sense of reality cannot disguise my enamored, whimsical feelings. I rhapsodize her essence in my affectionate mind excursions. She…
December 02, 2018
Fantasy Stories Vidal Martinez

The Purpose of Life

The front door slowly creaks open just as I reach to touch it with my cold, stiff hand. I stand still, hesitant, wanting to walk away, but finally I peek into the house, and through the darkness of the old Victorian home is a shadow of a flickering light from…
December 02, 2018
Fantasy Stories Pat Tyrer

It's All Relative

Before I get started talking about what I did, and why I did, what I did, I need to explain that Harold was no prize. He retired from John Deere because he couldn’t get along with the guy who worked next to him on the line. Not the supervisor, mind you, but…
December 02, 2018
Crime Stories J.D.Plummer

What Goes Around Comes Around

It was 12:45AM on a Tuesday. The old TV in the corner was playing some idiotic sitcom rerun. The ball game had gone into extra innings, but had basically ended a half hour before. There was a couple sitting at the table in the corner, having wandered in…
December 01, 2018
Crime Stories Nicholas Tomsko

Special Delivery

“BE THERE IN 5 MINUTES”...Tammy hit the SEND button and tossed the cell phone. It made a thud as it bounced off of the passenger seat. She hated the feeling of things in her pockets and never used a purse. Cruising the highway during a mild September…
December 01, 2018
Fantasy Stories Marie Anderson

Epiphany

After the meeting, Leo hurried back to his office and filled his briefcase and pockets with everything that mattered. His company mug brimmed with cold coffee. He poured the coffee over his PC’s keyboard, then threw the mug at a framed portrait mounted on the…
December 01, 2018
Romance Stories James Ross

Bones

‘Park here,’ Leo said, ‘We’re early and I’d like to sit in the sunshine for a while.’ Michael parked the car in one of the empty bays and went to purchase a ticket. When he got back to the car Leo was standing by the door grinning broadly. 'See!' he said.…
December 01, 2018
Mystery Stories Virginia Revel

The Shape I'm In

“Good morning, Mr. McCord.” “Good morning Dr. Porter,” I say, inclining my head slightly in his direction. His answering nod pays tribute to my quiet self-possession. I show him no hostility, but I do not pretend he is my friend. There will be no heartiness…
December 01, 2018
General Stories Jesse McKinnell

Hi, My Name is Mark

The drug store stretched out in front of Mark like a fun house, dizzying in its array of colors and textures and smells. Racks filled with Halloween candy, masks and plastic pumpkins sat in front, requiring shoppers to battle through their compulsions before…
December 01, 2018
General Stories Roger Ley

Harley

“It’s in here,” said Martin as he unlocked the door of the old, dilapidated wooden shed. “My dad lets me use this as a garage.” The shed was sited on the edge of the golf course that his father’s family owned. They went inside. It didn’t smell too bad, and it…
December 01, 2018
Science Fiction Stories Matt King

In Formation

Honking, the geese fly overhead in a giant V as the sky reddens in the late September dawn. Tralley watches them for a moment before continuing to unload the pickup truck outside the transmission tower high on the hill. Rucker fixating on his smartphone in…

 

 

There’s no such thing as improvisation when you have a body to bury.

You need to be well organised, and, of course, you need to have the right tools.

Transport comes high on the list. A van or a car with a large trunk (‘boot’ if you are British) is essential. If renting the vehicle, book it for a period of at least three days, and well in advance. Any hire that runs from midnight to 4 a.m. on the date of a murder or a disappearance is inviting trouble.

Rubber gloves are a must when handling a corpse, and anything that may once have belonged to it.

Bin-bags will help protect the inside of the vehicle and minimise the dispersal of any biological evidence, but in my experience a large sheet of plastic – bubble-wrap, for example – is far more efficient, and it invites no suspicion, even when purchased in quantity. It is cheap enough to be left behind, keeping the heat of organic decomposition and the feasting bugs exactly where you want them, which is a definite plus. It is also virtually untraceable.

A dependable torch is a must: durability is better than brightness. You need to see what you are doing, but you really don’t want to attract attention, do you?

Make sure to check your batteries before leaving home.

It’s no fun digging in the dark.

Stout waterproof boots with a thick rubber sole will guarantee your maximum safety and comfort while working. Don’t be fooled by rubber wellingtons. They tend to get stuck in the mud when it rains, and you wouldn’t want to wet your socks and catch a cold, now, would you?

Finally, the pick and the shovel.

Never try to economise on these essential tools. They are an investment which should last you a lifetime. They ought to be modern, mass-produced, well-designed, easy to clean and comfortable to handle. Blisters on hands and cuts on shins are a dead giveaway to be avoided at all costs. Buy your pick from one store, and the shovel separately, preferably at a large supermarket or garden centre, and the further from home the better. Pay cash, and remember to burn all receipts.

Now, have I forgotten anything?

Ah, the body…

Here, the matter of personal choice plays an important role.

And do remember: a check-list helps, but practise makes perfect.

 

Michael Gregorio is the name that Michael (G. Jacob and Daniela De) Gregorio use when they write together. They have published five novels, including Critique of Criminal Reason, Days of Atonement and A Visible Darkness (Faber & Faber, SMP), most recently Boschi & Bossoli (Italy only). Michael loves to write short stories, too (Venice Noir, Best International Crime).

D.I.Y. first appeared in an Italian on-line magazine.

Visit our website for the latest news and blogs: 
www.michaelgregorio.it

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