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Latest Stories

June 17, 2018
Poetry Marty Kay

Hand of God

Then there you were. Calling through the din of war, you beckoned, and I obeyed. I make amends. The muzzle of my gun muted, I mask my military might and squat to greet your greatness. Give me your hand. For I am more than war. A mother; my name is Mary. Call…
June 17, 2018
Crime Stories Scott Sinclair

Saturday Night at Fort Apache

Saturday February 8, 1973 I never thought I’d be a cop on the take. Hell, I never planned on being a cop period. My goal was to follow in the footsteps of my older brother Scotty and join the fire department. Succumbing to family pressure to not follow Scotty…
June 17, 2018
Romance Stories Alicia Aitken

The Lemon Sherbet Cafe

Emily Chambers stood on the wooden decking that surrounded her cafe watching the tide slowly come in. Just over a year ago, she would have chuckled bitterly at anyone who dared to tell her that this is where she’d be. At that time, she was at her weekly…
June 17, 2018
Crime Stories David De Santo

As Good As It Gets

The detective proceeded cautiously. It wasn't comfortable driving on a dark country road at night. The long narrow stretch of highway faded in the distance. The barren land looked like one of those places that had been declared dead but refused to die. There…
June 17, 2018
Horror Stories Patric Quinn

When It's Time To Go

(Harold and Vlad are a pair of aging monsters. Harold is a werewolf who no longer fully transforms during a full moon. Vlad is a vampire with dental problems.) The night was beautiful in the cemetery, especially one as old as this one. The full moon on the…
June 10, 2018
Poetry BR Giga

The Fix

Cool steel penetrates consciousness, piercing the ravenous flesh. slowly the Momentary agony is Dispelled by the plunging rush of toxic euphoria. the elated quest for Weightless tranquility begins to Transcend the mortality of mindless despair. mercifully,…
June 10, 2018
Horror Stories Grace Treutel

Braised Heart

When I saw him for the first time, I knew I had to have him for dinner. It was in the ripe red of his mouth, the plush of his lower lip. The hollows of his cheeks were little inlets for his amusement, surprise dusting his high cheekbones from the shadows of…
June 10, 2018
Science Fiction Stories R.Scott Venegas

The Bottom Line

 Motivated by the odium of self-aggrandizing butt-hurt under the guise compassion for the surplus population, perceived slight of the day, those who were productive, hatred for anyone not in agreement with her views and hunger, Duhlia Abzoog wormed through…
June 10, 2018
Horror Stories Elin Ridge

Vengeance

The rust-coloured blood flakes off my hands and falls to the ground like snow. Grime is caked underneath my fingernails and twigs nest in my hair. My shirt is torn, boots covered in mud. My throat is closing with my heart beating out of my chest. Sweat drips…
June 10, 2018
Mystery Stories Jerry Hogan

The Flopping Arm Burial

When I was fifteen, Mom told me that we were going to the funeral of her Great Aunt Mildred. I never heard of Great Aunt Mildred. “Who? Are you kidding me?” I said. “Jay, don’t give me a hard time,” Mom scolded. “We are going to pay homage to my grandmother’s…
June 09, 2018
Romance Stories Brian Glass

She Needs To Go

She had to get away. The timing wasn't ideal, but when was it ever? Her boyfriend of six years proposed last month and she had said yes. They met at one of the Marist College dining halls. He was a junior, she a sophomore. There might have been a slight…
June 09, 2018
General Stories E.Louise Jolly

The Doctor and the Pear Tree Switch

"Robert! I will not speak to you again. I want you to quit teasing your little sister.” "But Mama, she kicks my marbles every time she goes by!” "If you two can't play together without quarreling I will have to punish you both. Remember, my overshoe is out…

 

 

There’s no such thing as improvisation when you have a body to bury.

You need to be well organised, and, of course, you need to have the right tools.

Transport comes high on the list. A van or a car with a large trunk (‘boot’ if you are British) is essential. If renting the vehicle, book it for a period of at least three days, and well in advance. Any hire that runs from midnight to 4 a.m. on the date of a murder or a disappearance is inviting trouble.

Rubber gloves are a must when handling a corpse, and anything that may once have belonged to it.

Bin-bags will help protect the inside of the vehicle and minimise the dispersal of any biological evidence, but in my experience a large sheet of plastic – bubble-wrap, for example – is far more efficient, and it invites no suspicion, even when purchased in quantity. It is cheap enough to be left behind, keeping the heat of organic decomposition and the feasting bugs exactly where you want them, which is a definite plus. It is also virtually untraceable.

A dependable torch is a must: durability is better than brightness. You need to see what you are doing, but you really don’t want to attract attention, do you?

Make sure to check your batteries before leaving home.

It’s no fun digging in the dark.

Stout waterproof boots with a thick rubber sole will guarantee your maximum safety and comfort while working. Don’t be fooled by rubber wellingtons. They tend to get stuck in the mud when it rains, and you wouldn’t want to wet your socks and catch a cold, now, would you?

Finally, the pick and the shovel.

Never try to economise on these essential tools. They are an investment which should last you a lifetime. They ought to be modern, mass-produced, well-designed, easy to clean and comfortable to handle. Blisters on hands and cuts on shins are a dead giveaway to be avoided at all costs. Buy your pick from one store, and the shovel separately, preferably at a large supermarket or garden centre, and the further from home the better. Pay cash, and remember to burn all receipts.

Now, have I forgotten anything?

Ah, the body…

Here, the matter of personal choice plays an important role.

And do remember: a check-list helps, but practise makes perfect.

 

Michael Gregorio is the name that Michael (G. Jacob and Daniela De) Gregorio use when they write together. They have published five novels, including Critique of Criminal Reason, Days of Atonement and A Visible Darkness (Faber & Faber, SMP), most recently Boschi & Bossoli (Italy only). Michael loves to write short stories, too (Venice Noir, Best International Crime).

D.I.Y. first appeared in an Italian on-line magazine.

Visit our website for the latest news and blogs: 
www.michaelgregorio.it

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